space for RENT

So, I'm sitting in a coffee shop drinking an iced chai tea...and I ran across this card sitting innocently on the table next to me. It was mixed in with a bunch of random games that were assorted on the table and by some nearby shelves holding many different stimulating brain activities for all patrons to use at their leisure.

I had a quick "double take"/ look at the picture...then realized that it was just part of a sign language flashcard learning set.

The next question in my mind for this illustrative picture was, "What exactly does this mean in sign language?"

Only the mind from the lowest "gutter" could possibly come up with the most rude, crude and disturbing thoughts that would scar the many innocent minds.

It actually means DRINK in sign language. For the everyday "Average Joe" such as myself...Who would have thought?. Unless, of course, you are fluent in sign language.

BEER BONG TOWN

This last weekend we went to the Leinenkugel's Brewery.

Aside the excellent establishment known for their delicious beers, it also has a free tour in which they offer you two beers to sample at the end of the tour. It is awesome!!! The only thing that needs to be forewarned to anybody deciding to take advantage of the greatness that resides in Chippewa Falls, WI...are the plumbing facilities in the bathrooms and the roads through town.

The restrooms have the most powerful plumbing on the planet, I'm sure. Upon flushing the "ass throne", it felt like everything from a 3 mile radius could have been sucked into the "unknown". Where all of the previous goldfish owners have sent their animal companions away to become mutated beasts that haunt children in the darkness of the night. Yep, for all of you that have fears of loud and spastic toilets...Keep as far away as you can!!!

Chippewa Falls roads are both menacing to the out of town tourist and most likely to the residents of the small downtown area. If you follow Hwy. 124...it just takes you around the town in a circle. Many of the crazed intersections have random stop signs here and there, just to make it look as though somebody tried implementing some sort of order to abide common traffic laws. Also, at the Leinie's Lodge turn off, there is only 1 stop sign camping out at the 4 roads in front of the brewery pro shop entrance...Why just one stop sign at this particular intersection? I have reason to believe that the people who designed the patterns of the roads in Chippewa Falls were, in fact, possibly drunk on Leinenkugel's beer for the whole development of the town's routes.

The brewery is, however, a fantastic place to visit and I highly recommend it.

Okay everyone. Here is a test for you folks that think that you can determine the differences between the boys from the girls.

Yeah, yeah. This blog is quite disturbing in many qualities. However, it is fun to see how well you do.

Good luck everybody!!!

OLD, OLD PEOPLE IN COUNTRYSIDE HELL

I live and am stuck in a geriatric based community called Countryside Condominiums. The average age of a person living in these buildings is 60 years of age. Yes, the old and the yet, older and oldest people also live and bitch to everybody else every single day that also live there among the wrinkled population in the cluster of condos.

In fact, have you ever really noticed that when you ask somebody at work or anywhere for that matter, "How are you doing?", the most common response is, "Okay, thanks...How about You?". If you are to ask somebody from MY building that same question...You usually will get a list of ailments that they have been suffering from in the last month or so. I am sorry...But, I don't care. It's not that I'm way too busy in my very important life for anyone...It's just that I simply don't really care. When I get home, I want to go inside of my place and relax without being bombarded by the game of 20 questions by my ever so nosy neighbors who love to hear themselves talk, talk and talk.

F.Y.I. Everything that a person does in one or any of these geriatric communities is done under a microscope.

• If your car was crooked in a parking space, they know who did it and furthermore will report it at the once a month board meeting or discuss it continually with other residents.
• If you have a guest come over to visit, they will remember the day and time of when your friend, relative or whoever arrived and left...not to mention the details of what your visiting party looked like or drove.
• If you happen to drag a stray leaf that has fallen off a nearby tree in the doorway upon entering on your shoe by accident, they would know who did it.

I am beginning to think that the security cameras that they put in most apartment/ condominium complexes are primarily for the use of the residents that have nothing better to do with their lives...seeing as though it can be aired into most of the homes with cable ready televisions. I am quite positive that it is this channel that is most frequented by the older and really, really old generation living in my building.

I have lived there for 3 years this May and have had a few too many fines pointed in my direction for common laws that I have broken within the Countryside code of ethics.

1. Having a gas grill on my deck when it clearly is an Electric Grill...SWEAR!! - $300.00
2. Having backed into a parking spot (which I did) to unload things into my place. (p.s. If the exhaust pipe of your vehicle is pointed in the direction of the homeowner's units...the oxygen level that seeps inside peoples living quarters may cause premature ailments contributing to an early onset of their demise). - $30.00
3. Propping of the security doorway...(okay, so I did that also on the same day that I backed my car into the parking space pointing my exhaust towards everyone's windows for them to breathe...crookedly parked, I might add.) -$30.00
4. Oil leak on the garage floor. (OOPS...I have an old car, what can I say.) -$30.00
5. Not getting it cleared by the board of directors to put in new laminate and carpet floors in my place...(So what, it was written in a small 4 point font in the by-laws that came out 2 months after I did it...Boo to them!)
6. The list goes on and on...and I just can't!!! Not in this Hell on earth which I call home.

This year will have to mark the year that I get the Hell out of there. It sucks, because I really like the style of my place and my bills are at a price that I can afford for right now. I just want a different neighborhood of fun people...that's all I ask.

**So, remember this the next time you consider moving into a community...especially with an older based population. They see and know everything about everybody!!!